"Oh, I run a charity in my spare time"

by Cantor Aviva Marer

“And what do you and your friends like to do in your spare time?” I asked him.  “We hang out…oh, and I run a charity.”  I paused.  Did this little 13-year-old boy just tell me that he runs a charity in his spare time?  It was our first Bar Mitzvah lesson together and I decided to use our 20-minute session as a chance to get to know each other, just as I always do.  “Yup!” he said as he responded to the surprised look on my face. “A few years ago after 9/11 happened, I heard about the wildfires in California.  I told my dad that we should help them, since the whole country rallied around us when we got attacked.” He proceeded to tell me about his innocent conversation with his parents that took place when he was only 5-years-old, and how it eventually grew in to an impressive charity called New York Says Thank You.  Since that day, Evan, his father Jeff and the entire Parness family have been a source of inspiration for me, reminding me to see the light, even through the worst of times.

Over the past month, we have seen and experienced darkness and grief.  As a community, as a nation, and as world, we are in pain.  It seems that around every corner is another extremist, who prefers murder over reasoning and hatred over understanding.  And yet, as we set out in a month that commands us to celebrate light, I feel compelled to acknowledge the goodness in the people that comes out specifically during times of tragedy.  Just as Evan and his father found a way to turn their grief in to charity (and have continued to do so ever since), so too do everyday heroes restore our faith in humanity.  Take for example Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis, a teacher in Newtown, who hid her 15 first-graders in a closet while a madman when on a deadly rampage.  Not only did she save innocent lives with this act, she has since gone on to found a nonprofit organization called Classes4Classes, which encourages kindness between classrooms across America.  Or how about Benjamin Keefe Clark, who was not a firefighter or a policeman but a 39-year old chef on the 96th floor in the South Tower of the World Trade Center.  He made sure to get every single person in his department out of the building safely, but stopped on the 78th floor to help a woman in a wheelchair who was crying for assistance.  This incredible act of courage cost him his life, but his mother takes pride in the fact that he saved so many.  Or even more recently, I have to think about Sebastien in Paris.  Sebastien narrowly escaped the shooting at the Bataclan, only to come outside and see a pregnant woman dangling from a window sill, screaming for someone to help her back in through the window since she wouldn’t survive the fall.  She had been holding on for over five minutes and was about to let go when Sebastien made the decision to go back in and help her.  Imagine his fear as he re-entered the scene he so narrowly escaped!  He pulled her back in and helped her escape with him, never giving her his last name in an effort to remain anonymous.  These are only some of the incredible human acts that have happened in the worst of times.  There are far too many heroes to name them all.  But this month, as we light our Chanukah candles, let us stop for a moment and believe in the inherent good in people.  Let us celebrate the lives we have been given and appreciate those who, like us, value human life over all else.  After all, the blessing we will chant eight times this month reminds us that miracles do still happen today.

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech HaOlam, she’asah nissim la’Avoteinu, bayamim hahem, ba’zman hazeh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who performed miracles in the days of our ancestors, and (does so) in this time.

Cantor Aviva Marer grew up in Ottawa, Ontario. Born in to a family of Bene Israel Jews from India, she grew up with a strong cultural sense of Indian Judaism. Bene Israel Jews can be traced back to the early 15th century, and Cantor Marer's grandfather built the first synagogue in New Delhi, which still stands to this day. She enjoys teaching about her heritage and recently featured in an exhibit called Beyond Bollywood at the Smithsonian in February 2014.

Cantor Marer completed a Bachelor's degree in Classical Voice in 2005, and a Master's Degree in Choral Conducting in 2007. In May of 2013, Cantor Marer was ordained from the Debbie Friedman School of Sacred Music at Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion and is a member of the American Conference of Cantors. Cantor Marer serves Temple Emanu-El of Edison, NJ and lives in Metuchen with her wonderful husband, James Marer, and their new son Benjamin Jacob. Together, the three of them enjoy traveling, cooking, and spending time together as a family!