It Takes a Community
by Cantor Debra Stein
A number of years ago I was approached to create the first homeless shelter on the east end of Long Island. It would be affiliated with an already existing group known as Maureen's Haven, a group that had worked further "up island". However, the need for shelter had now extended to the very tip of the east end.
The Hamptons, best known for wealth and opulence, is rarely thought of as a place where people are walking the streets with duffle bags and train tickets; looking for their next warm meal or bed for the evening. Yet, all year around we have a significant homeless population that needs care and shelter. During summer months many live in tents in an area called the Pine Barrens Region.
However, during the deep winter months, sleeping in tents or in cars parked in the town's long term parking area is not an option. Our winters are long and harsh, cold and bitter.
The volunteers...
With me that day was a congregant who is devoted to social action, the type of person every social action committee seeks. She is a person who understands that you can't just be a mouth piece for change; you have to be the "boots on the ground", you have to take action. She was next to me from that day onward as we began the journey of creating a homeless shelter in the Hamptons. When we approached our board for authorization, we were faced with all of the questions you would expect from a group entrusted with the care and well-being of our congregation. Ultimately, the program was approved.
When we began, there was a church willing to take in the homeless on Friday nights, and we would take Saturday nights. We went to a generous supporter and got the funding we needed to set up shop. We needed air beds, blankets, towels, soap, alcohol free mouthwash, shampoo, and more. We took two Walmart shopping carts and were determined to fill them to the brim. We were ready to create a warm, homey, caring environment for our guests...to come and be welcomed for a safe and relaxing night at our shelter.
Needless to say, trying to create a home for twenty homeless people took much more than two shopping carts. When a Walmart employee noticed that we were buying in quantity, he asked us who we were shopping for. When we explained that it was the beginning of a new homeless shelter for the east end of Long Island, he asked us to wait a moment. Upon his return, he presented us with a gift card to use toward our purchases. This wasn't an exception, this was the way we were treated everywhere we went.
Every year around the Chanukah and Christmas holidays, we go out and purchase gifts for our guests. One year, when a volunteer was waiting on a long line, she began a conversation the woman behind her. When her sale was finally rung up, the woman came over and gave her credit card to pay for the items. Mitzvah Goreret Mitzvah.
I then went to two people who I felt could co-chair the shelter experience with me. The first person has been a wonderful congregant/friend who I have known since I first began at the Jewish Center. She and her wife have become part of my extended family, and I had a feeling she would be willing to help. To this day I can hear her response to my request. She told me that she had been looking for something she felt was important enough to give of her time, and this was just the project because it spoke to her heart. Since the day we started, she has been an integral part of the management team.
The other person was newer to the congregation, but I knew her to be capable of taking on tasks and seeing them to the end. She too agreed without any hesitation and is still involved in the shelter.
Once I had both of them in place, I knew I would be able to open the shelter successfully.
We had to rearrange the JCOH guest house to accommodate our guests (the term we use for those needing shelter). Every fall our maintenance staff removes the beds from one room; so we can set up a clothing room for our guests to select new, donated clothing. They have to carry couches from downstairs to upstairs; so there is space for air mattresses. Then all the "traif" pots and pans, dishes and utensils come down; as our kitchen changes from summer kosher to winter mode, ready to accommodate the non-kosher foods we offer our guests.
During the High Holidays we have a sign-up board for people who can help with cooking and cleaning, sleeping over, and welcoming our guests. We look for volunteers who can show up at 5:00 am to make breakfast and prepare the lunches that our guests will take with them when they leave on Sunday morning.
By Yom Kippur we have almost all of our needs met, and we are ready to begin the homeless shelter for another year.
With our house now in order, it is time to welcome our guests. Every other Saturday we call upon post Bar and Bat Mitzvah students to help set up the shelter. They are responsible for filling air mattresses, making the beds, and seeing that the bathrooms are ready for company. It may not sound like much, but we are making twenty beds each week.
A second group of young people come to help make lunches and put out snacks that are ready for our guests when they arrive. While we don't allow children to be in the shelter when guests are present, they still have the experience of doing some good in our community.
This is all headed up by one of my two chairs. While she sees to it that the children are doing what they need to be doing, she is also in the kitchen heating up whatever dinner a congregant has offered to make. Remember we are feeding between twenty and twenty-five people, because we feed our volunteers, and the men who drive the guests to the shelter. We couldn't run the shelter without these men, as they are also qualified screeners, who make sure the guests are sober, and are not carrying any weapons.
By five o'clock Saturday afternoon our guests have arrived. As they come through the kitchen door, every guest is greeted personally and welcomed by the aromas of the food being prepared. They sign in and begin to claim their beds. They tend to take the same beds week after week, and we can have a little skirmish if a new person takes the bed of one of our regulars. The makeup of the sheltered is diverse; however, a majority is Caucasian. They are from all religions and socio-economic backgrounds. Some have mental illnesses that worsened as they aged, and their families have given up on them. Some have drug problems, resulting in family abandonment. While a third group is made up of people who live just above the poverty line; unable to find winter work in our summer resort community.
We are the only facility that has a shower for them; so the showering begins as soon as the guests arrive. There are actually a few guests who won't shower because, they tell us, feeling clean once a week reminds them how dirty they feel during the rest of the week.
While some are showering, others are offered a hot and hearty soup as well as an array of appetizers and sweets. After about an hour we serve dinner. Dinner is family style, and everyone is helpful in getting the food to the table. It's crowded, but the feeling around the table is what you would expect in any large, dysfunctional family. The homeless tend to group themselves into small family units, and we see how they care for each other within these smaller groups.
After dinner we show a movie. Many of our guests are so exhausted they go right to sleep. Some do watch the film, but by ten o'clock they are all asleep.
In the morning the breakfast crew arrives early to set up and get the coffee on. By six o'clock all guests are awake, and the final showers are underway. After breakfast the driver comes and takes all of the guests to the train station. Most will travel to a nearby town where there is a daytime shelter. However, many don't take advantage of the shelter; choosing to walk the streets, because that is the life they know.
While in the shelter each guest is responsible for cleaning up after himself. They strip their air mattresses and put all of the bedding into designated laundry bags. We are very fortunate to have a local laundry service that volunteers to wash everything for us. Without this support I doubt that our shelter could continue.
This brings me back to the title of my article. It truly takes an entire community to make a homeless shelter work. If one piece of the puzzle is missing the other pieces can't hold together. I am grateful to have so many individuals in my congregation, and my community, who are willing to spend five months every year dedicating themselves to housing and feeding the homeless.